Survive Infidelity - How To Avoid 3 Mistakes Most Women Make Which Prolong Mistrust And Misery

by: Denise A. Dilmore


For a couple to survive infidelity, the general theme is the cheater wants to get on with the relationship and quickly move past the affair, while the injured party prolongs the misery and mistrust. And with good reason. It is difficult to "move on" once you have been devastated by an affair.

If both you and your husband want to survive the infidelity and rebuild your marriage, realize that it is a process. After the initial shock of the infidelity has settled, it is not so much the "sexual act" which is the most difficult to survive, but the deciet, disrespect, lies and lack of loyalty that has taken place. The lingering feelings of deception and mistrust do not immediately go away once the affair stops.

Here are 3 mistakes most women make which prolong the mistrust and misery, and most importantly, how to avoid them:

Mistake #1 - Visualizing The Details and Playing It Over And Over Again

The number one mistake most women make which prolongs mistrust and misery is visualizing the details of the affair and playing it over and over again in their minds. Envisioning the "what, when, where and how they did things" is destructive to your sanity and will prohibit you from rebuilding your marriage.

To survive infidelity you must learn to take control of your mind and stop the negative visualizations. Understand it is natural to doubt your husbands loyalty but unnatural for you to torture yourself with "thoughts of them."

Tips to help rid yourself of unwanted thoughts are

-Be aware of when negative thoughts are taking over so you can learn to change your thought pattern

-Become aware of what triggers your negative thoughts and images

-Make a conscious decision to stop yourself when these thoughts and images appear

-Stop telling yourself and others that you can't stop thinking this way - because you can

-Realize you are in control of your thoughts and need to distract yourself with other people, things and places to keep your mind occupied

-Make a written list of 10 things you are grateful for and pull it out and read it every time your negatative thinking begins

Mistake #2 - Trying To Put The Marriage Back To "The Way It Was"

The number two mistake most women make which prolongs mistrust and misery is trying to put the marriage back to "the way it was." For a couple to survive infidelity, both must realize there was a fault line in the foundation of their marriage for the affair to happen in the first place. Usually feeling underappreciated, misunderstood or a communication break down between the couple has occurred prior to the affair. There are many online resources available for couples willing to repair their marriage and find new ways of communicating.

Tips to help you create new ways of communicating are:

-Stop yourself from falling into the same communication patterns as were present prior to the affair

-Accept the marriage will not be the same as it was prior to the infidelity

-Get professional counselling or find online resources to help you develop new ways of communicating

-Learn to listen to your partner rather than jumping in with a response

Mistake #3 - Focusing on The Affair Rather Than The Marriage

The number three mistake most women make which prolongs mistrust and misery is focusing on the affair rather than the marriage. For obvious reasons feelings of anger, rage, hurt, betrayal and disappointment are all natural and must play a part in the healing process. Keep in mind, if you did not care about your husband, none of these feelings would be arising. Therefore, once you have both made the decision to survive the infidelity and save your marriage, focusing on the affair rather than the marriage is destructive and futile.

Tips to help you focus on your marriage again are:

-Every day make a list of things he did right

-Ask yourself why did you fall in love with him in the first place and does he still have some of those same qualities

-Take time away from the everyday routine to spend quality time together

-Find new activities and things you are both interested in doing together

-Designate specific times to discuss the marital issues and solutions on how to make the marraige stronger

Ultimately, your husband carries a large responsibility in trying to help you alleviate your mistrust and misery. It is after all, his indiscretions that created the breakdown of your relationship.

Realize that if you are both committed to saving your marriage, there are many ways that you can restore the trust which was lost to the affair. Take responsibility for avoiding the three most common mistakes many women make. If you put in the daily work, you and your husband will be among the many couples that have succeeded in regaining the trust and surviving infidelity.

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Affair Surviving - 3 Reasons Why Asking Your Husband To Go To Counselling Is A Big Mistake

by: Denise A. Dilmore


If you have recently found out about your husband's affair, you know just how devastating affair surviving really is. You may want to ask your husband to attend counselling sessions as you feel they are needed to save your marriage. Think again! Asking your husband to go to counselling is a big mistake.

Although counselling can be a perfect solution for couples who have both agreed to participate, if your husband feels pushed or forced into it, the results will not be favourable.

Over 50% of couples and individuals who seek marriage counselling after an affair reported the counselling seldom worked. If both couples were not 100% committed to the affair surviving help, the cheating spouse entered counselling guarded and with little intent to interact or disclose any deep feelings.

The cheating spouse then often sabotaged the sessions and the end result was the counselling pushed them away rather than saved the marriage.

3 Reasons Why Asking Your Husband To Go To Counselling Is A Big Mistake

Reason #1.

Your husband may feel he is being forced or manipulated into a solution. If your husband is not 100% committed to rebuilding your marriage and surviving the affair, do not try to convince him to attend marriage counselling sessions.

Reason #2.

Your husband may feel you are desperate. You are prepared to do whatever it takes to keep him in the marriage. Unfortunately, human nature leans towards wanting what you can't have. If you are pushing for a solution to remain in his life and come across like you can't live without him, this will not attract him but may push him away.

Reason #3

Your husband may feel you want to fix him. Although I'm sure your husband knows he is in the wrong for having an affair, there is still a sense of justification. In his mind his needs were not being met and therefore he looked outside the marriage to fulfill his needs. If he feels you are trying to fix or change him, resentment and distance can develop.

To encourage your husband to join you in affair surviving strategies, whether it be marriage counselling, books or online resources, take control of yourself first. Focus on your own self-care and be willing to take a non-reactive stand and move on with your life. Explain to him that you are getting counselling/advice to change your life. That the marriage hasn't been what it should be for some time and you need to make positive changes within your life. With or without him.

Focusing on your own affair surviving strategies and self-care is the key to engaging your husband to participate whole heartedly in rebuilding your marriage. Once you are both committed to saving your relationship, it's just a matter of time before your marriage will be loving and stronger than ever before.

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What To Do When Your Friends and Your Girlfriend Don't Gel

by: Ram Gupta


There are many reasons why couples round the world struggle to sustain a healthy relationship. A major problem that sometimes crops up is that a person's significant other just doesn't seem to like his closest friends. If you are facing the same situation, you have probably had to confront a lot of negative energy from your wife or girlfriend. However, you needn't think that this situation is beyond redemption. You can still make your relationship work, if you are prepared to take the right steps.

The Cause May Not Be Your Friends

If you have just got past the honeymoon period of your relationship, what you are facing is not very uncommon. You need to consider the possibility that your partner is probably reacting to the fact that other things have started to edge their way into your life, which she thinks are pulling you away from her. Your friends may be one of these 'externalities.' Perhaps she doesn't have too many close friends herself, so she struggles to understand your exclusive relationship with your friends. If you think that, at the end of the day, what she is grudging is not the personalities of your friends, but the fact that you may be moving away from her, you need to reassure her that she is mistaken. Even if you can't spend as much time with her as before, try to make the time you do spend special.

When She Genuinely Doesn't Like Them

Obviously, there is also the possibility that she genuinely doesn't like certain friends of yours. If that's happening, you have to accept the fact that she has a right to form her own judgments and impressions, and those could be very different from yours. However, check with her who she doesn't like and why. You should also tell her why you like them. If you both are open and communicative, you will prevent barriers from forming between you two.

Making Plans With Her and Friends

If you perceive that your wife or girlfriend doesn't like some friends of yours, respect her for that and don't include her into plans she would rather not be a part of. If you have been pressurizing her to share the company of people she doesn't like, it will adversely affect her mood, and all her grievances will be rightly directed towards your behavior.

Never Give Up Your Friends

The one thing you should never do is discard your friends or drift away from them just because your wife or girlfriend doesn't like them. A healthy relationship can only be sustained when two people are prepared to accept that they both have the right to an independent space for themselves. Your friends are part of that space. The moment you get pressurized into giving them up, you will start forming a grudge against your partner, and it will come out in an ugly and hurtful manner in a fight.

Finally, to maintain a happy relationship with your girlfriend, you need to always remember to communicate clearly. The more you repress yourself, the more difficult it will become to have a calm conversation on the issue.

You are free to publish this article without any change in the content electronically, in print, in your e-book, or on your web site, free of charge, as long as the author resource details are included.

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Single Christian Girls and Pre-Marital Sex

by: Trent Burks


In our each day lives, single Christian girls and men have discovered comfort and satisfaction with the corporation of their boyfriends and girlfriends, so considerably so that they have turn out to be emotionally dependent on just about every other. Nevertheless most usually than not, this emotional and bodily closeness has uncovered them to the probable penalties and potential risks of pre-marital intercourse.

The virtue of virginity has been with us since the Roman medieval instances when kings, queens, princes, princesses, girls and their knights guard themselves with "chastity belts" against temptation and rape. It was imagined of as a blessing, of superior worth and even excellent luck in some cultures. Preserving a woman's dignity and honor for her husband and knight was regarded as 1 of the purest virtues of the greatest buy. For all those unfamiliar with the gadget, it is a locking item of apparel worn by men and women possibly male or female, developed to protect against sexual intercourse. In these contemporary occasions, virginity is regarded by several as nonsensical or absurd.

At current, as virgins are turning out to be an endangered species and mankind needing a more relevant alternative, this highly regarded and revered outdated apply was changed by yet another aged apply which is abstinence before marriage. The New Testament has lots of passages in the Bible that mentions about sex before marriage. In a single verse the apostle Paul wrote, "Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is very good for them to remain unmarried, as I am. But if they can't management themselves, they need to marry, for it is superior to marry than to burn with passion."(NIV, one Corinthians seven:8-nine). Jesus and our Christian faith emphasized this in buy to teach us and the total humanity how to self-discipline ourselves and thereby instill earth order and protect against world-wide chaos brought on by pestilence.

To our beloved single Christian gals and men. Remember that, sexual intercourse outdoors of the confines of marriage is known as "fornication". Yet again, in the New Testament, Jesus Christ even mentioned of "sexual immorality" as one particular of human's frailty when He mentioned, "What comes out of a guy is what would make him 'unclean.' For from inside, out of men's hearts, appear evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils appear from inside and make a gentleman 'unclean.'"(NIV, Mark seven:twenty-23)

Likewise, the apostle Paul even wrote, "But considering that there is so considerably immorality, just about every guy ought to have his very own wife, and each and every lady her private husband."(1 Corinthians 7:two) Here we are being taught to marry so that we can satisfy our passions in a moral way, given that several individuals are not able to control by themselves and are obtaining immoral sex outdoors of marriage. He additionally stated, "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins individuals commit are outdoors their bodies, but individuals who sin sexually sin in opposition to their very own bodies. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have acquired from God? You are not your private you have been purchased at a selling price. As a result honor God with your bodies."(TNIV, one Corinthians 6:eighteen-20)

Could I praise these who practice abstinence prior to marriage soon after closely analyzing the added benefits of this venerated apply has to give in our Christian dwelling specially to our single Christian gals I discover it really appropriate, logical, systematic and useful in our modern-day residing.

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The Luis Vuitton Factor - Thoughts at 44

by: Robert Murgatroyd


It was once said that age is wasted on the young. While I would not trade-in any of those painful lessons I have learned in my life because I have benefited too much from them; however, I still wish I could save others from the lessons that life invariably teaches. Here is my attempt at reaching out to the 30 year old guy. I realize that it is likely to fall on deaf ears as it probably would have with me at that age.

For the average red blooded 30 year old guy the focus is on success. They say, "I will be happy when I get the money, the 911 Porsche or the mansion". I have been lucky enough to have all three. Each time I was convinced that the new success goal I was after was going to make me happy.

That type of thinking comes with a price. A price that you probably did not even know was on the chopping block. I have titled this phenomenon "The Louis Vuitton Factor". See, because you are so focused on going about the business of money making, you leave a few things out of your scope. Namely your wife or girlfriend.

This is where things get a bit messy and where I will probably lose my 30 year success maniac. I cannot tell you how many girls I have spoken to who are dying a slow death because their man is ignoring them. The rationale that they hear from their well-meaning Donald Trump of a husband is something like, "It is my focus and hard work that gives you all of the things you have". The problem is he gives her "everything" but none of what she actually needs.

I can spot these couples a mile away. In fact, last week I could not help myself. I snapped some rogue shots of this happening right before my eyes. Here is the back story. Kim and I are on the beautiful island of Salina in Sicily watching the sunset at a very sexy bar overlooking the Mediterranean. People come from all over the island to have a cocktail and watch the most perfect sunset you have ever seen. We are talking a life changing sunset.

As I look out of the corner of my eye. I see this striking super model looking sad and crushed. Then I see why. I spot America's next billionaire sitting next to her, tapping away on his lap top at the bar while the sun is setting and completely ignoring her.

There many versions of this story, but the plot remains the same. It could be the cell phone that rings on date night that you have to take. It could be the emails that you have to return while you are at the pool on vacation. It might even be texting while she is telling you a story about her day.

So what is the lesson? Your girl will leave you and find someone who pays attention; even if you give her a Louis Vuitton bag. It is not the bag she wants.. .it is you.

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Overcoming Your Break Up when Your Boyfriend is Dating Once More

by: Teecee Go


It is never easy to overcome a break up. Interestingly, one of the things that can help you out is to begin dating once more. Of course, it is not easy to muster the courage to start going out for a date after your break up. The intimacy you shared with your ex, and the duration of your relationship, will make the break up even more difficult to endure. In such a case, you will find it very odd to go out on a date with someone new. Yet dating is one of the things that can lift you out of the gloom of a break up.

It may be even more challenging in case your ex boyfriend is already dating once more. However, you should understand that it is by dating that you will get his attention even at such a stage. Your ex boyfriend may be going out on a date while there are at least some residues of love towards you. When he realizes that you are seeing another guy, the stinging arrows of jealousy will hit him. Then he may begin to reconsider his decision.

Dating after a break-up, and when your ex is already up and about, will undoubtedly be difficult. However, there are some things that will help you out.

Speed dating

Although speed dating is still a relatively new phenomenon, it is becoming popular fairly fast. Basically, speed dating involves meeting several single people who are looking for relationships, and spending brief moments with each potential date. This offers a number of advantages.

You will largely be able to maintain your privacy, as speed dating is relatively anonymous. Safety is also enhanced given the controlled environment in which you will meet. In addition, you will be able to meet several people who have similar interests.

Online dating

This is another very popular mode of dating nowadays. It gives you the opportunity to meet numerous people with whom you share similar interests. Some online dating sites even offer some kinds of match-making services, where you will fill a questionnaire and then receive an update of potential dates who match your requirements.

Online dating has been trusted over time, and some very great relationships started in this way.

Match-maker services

During the earlier times, matchmakers were highly respected. Although the practice became outdated for some time, its value has been appreciated in the recent past and it is coming back in vogue once more. There are match-making services that will get you in touch with potential dates that you would have not met otherwise.

This is an option that you should consider only when you are serious about finding someone new to start a serious relationship with. Keep off it in case you still expect to get back with your ex.

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Things You Need When Planning A Wedding Reception

by: Ike King


When you are trying to plan a wedding reception in a short amount of time, you can definitely find yourself overwhelmed. Although in the past the typical time for an engagement was about six months, there is often a need for a longer engagement so that you can plan and reserve the venue you prefer to use for the reception.

This runs specifically true for those who are planning a summer wedding or one throughout the Christmas holidays when it's sometimes necessary to book the hall a year or more before the wedding.

Not surprisingly, there are several things necessary along with renting the reception hall when you're planning a reception. Here are a few things to keep in mind when you are setting the date for your wedding and planning your reception.

- Peak periods of Summer and Christmas are extremely busy for each and every venue, in every city. When you have a specific venue you wish to reserve, you may have to plan as much as a year in advance. Unless you're set on getting one particular venue, it's most effective to have a list of several you would think about using.

- If you have a strict budget for flowers in the reception hall, you might consider using fresh flowers on the bridal table and silk flowers on the others. Asking associates to help you with creating flower arrangements can also save you lots of money.

- Hotels and other banquet spots are frequently pricier than community neighborhood centers or church fellowship halls.

- Hall rental fees can vary depending on the kind of reception you're planning: buffet settings are less costly than sit down dinners. You will also pay more for much more elaborate setups such as steak, lobster and other expensive meals.

- Remember that when you reserve the venue for your reception you will need to pay some money up front in order to solidify your reservation.

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Solitaire Engagement Rings

by: Pournima Londhe


Every girl dreams of the day when that special young man will propose, and she will be able to wear a diamond engagement ring on her left hand. There are many different styles and designs of rings, but solitaire engagement rings are one of the all-time favorites.

Solitaire engagement rings are the perfect symbol of true love and romance. Solitaire engagement ring has only one sparkling and blossom diamond with no side stone that signifies the oneness that means your relationship is eternal and two hearts will stay as a single forever. Because of its timeless commitment, aesthetic look and everlasting love symbol, it has become the most popular choice for presenting and placing the same on ring finger of soon to be bride on the most auspicious occasion that is engagement.

Solitaire engagement rings although simple can be very expensive; you may have to spend an amount of few months' salary for it. This setting is one of the most popular settings when it comes to engagement rings. Maybe because of its classic appeal and its simplicity, also this setting looks perfect with almost all the gemstones you might want it to have.

While choosing ring, there is no need to be panic since a wide option and alternative of rings is available in market to choose an ideal one. Another thing to consider while selecting stone, you must highlight the characteristics of the ring rather giving more emphasis on the size of stone. Shape of the ring is vital part and so many shapes are available so look the shapes that suit you very much however, round and heart shape diamond is the most popular one because it boosts the beauty of solitaire engagement ring without additional stones.

If you are looking for affordable solitaire engagement ring then online jewellery stores are the best place. But before buying your ring online you must keep few things in your mind. Always remember by surfing the internet you can find many online jewellery stores but not all are trustworthy. There are many fake online stores offering low quality of engagement rings. Hence before buying your ring it is good to check the credibility of the store. Always remember that if you will buy your ring from the reputed store then you will be assured that you are buying a ring of good quality. And always remember that all the reputed stores will provide you the certification issued by world top laboratories such as IGI, GIA and AGL.

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Reclaiming the Lost Love through Flowers

by: Johnson Shoane


Have you spent like a decade or more in your marriage? Are you noticing a significant decrease in the level of intimacy you are showing to each other? Maybe it's your hectic work schedule that is taking all your time such that you are forgetting you have a wife to give attention and love.

Coming tired from work, you cantt even ask your wife how was her day like. You can't even bother to eat the food she prepared for you because you are too tired or you are still full from a dinner meeting with a client. You can't even seem to notice that she has pampered herself and made herself attractive just for you to take a glance of her.

But these things don't hinder her to get your very precious attention. She's wearing cosmetics and perfume eve she's just home. When you come home at night, she's dressed up in her sexy lingerie, just to be ignored again. Until you noticed yourself that she has lost interest in these things.

Coming home at night, there's a food prepared for you but your wife is soundly snoring at your room. Waking her up would just result in turning to the other side of the bed. This isn't the scenario you would want to end up.

Making matters worse, you noticed one time that your wife has slept with the computer still on. Browsing through the history of the websites she had visited exploded a surprise before your eyes. Your wife is visiting the sites of online florists daily.

Your wife has now been consuming her whole time browsing through the galleries of online florists. She was dreaming of receiving some of those beautiful flower arrangements comprised of her most favourite flowers. The sight of these websites should have made you ponder that your wife is traveling back in time. She's traveling back to the days when you'd suddenly come from her behind and hand a bouquet of beautiful red Kunming roses for her.

Munching over to her reminiscence of these sweet moments along with the things she had done in the past brings you to a realization that you ignored the attempts she had made to ignite the spark of your love again.

If this is your case, there is no better thing for you to do than to surprise her with a flower delivery service in an instance when she's not expecting it. With the assistance of an online florist such as www.gogoflorist.com, you can select a flower arrangement that your wife will best like. Choose arrangements comprised of flowers she wants the most. Ensure that the colours are her likes too. Include an order of the wine you both enjoy to drink while you were just dating. Instruct the florist to have the flowers delivered before you get home.

You'll be surprised in return for the thing you think is a simple task you've done. But for your wife it's an important time she'll never forget for it's when you have responded and brought back the lost spark in your relationship. Be prepared for hugs and kisses she'll shower you. Don't forget to drink the wine and grab the opportunity to profess your renewed love towards an intimate night that will both take you to satisfaction.See how a bunch of roses can make a difference in your relationship!

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Analyzing the Love-Sex Chemistry

by: Tyler Sweeney


Let's analyze some of the problems that lovers face most often.

Lack of trust on either side is the major problem creator in a relationship. Women chiefly succumb to unnecessary suspicion resulting in an eventual break up with their partners. On the other hand, men hate being nagged randomly. However, this does not mean that men can take their partners for granted. The best thing a couple can do is to allow equal space to each other; confide in their darkest secrets, and try to figure out mutual problems.

It's very important for couples to know each other. No two persons are alike and hence one must respect each other's identity. One should not try to make an argument out of insignificant things. However, if arguments take place, make sure that you attempt reconciliation. Showing that 'you care' is one of the best kept secrets in a loving relationship.

Notwithstanding the above-mentioned issues, there crops up some intimate problems, which demand more attention and perhaps even professional support. Many partners shy away from the most wonderful gift of God to mankind- sex. Sexual encounter is an inevitable aspect of conjugal life and trying to remain celibate post marriage is quite illogical. Failure as an ideal sex partner might be another trouble in your sex life. A situation might arise wherein your passion has lost its erstwhile spark or you have been unable to light a single spark in the first night itself! Dissatisfaction in a relationship often calls for extra-marital affairs or adultery. The result- more trouble, more pain.

These love pangs can best be sorted with the help of professional sex experts or 'sexperts'. The sexpert can guide you to tackle your love challenges wittingly. With their guidance and support, you can actually sail smoothly over the intermittent waves of love and sex.

In the beginning, when love is new, romance, courting and conquest are aphrodisiacs, stimulants that increase our appetite for sexual union. Eventually the chase ends, hearts are won, and lifetime pledges are made. The happy couple says "I do," strolls off into the sunset together, destined to be lovers forever.

So what happens? The newness fades, the passion flees. Where does it go? Does it get mortgaged along with the house? Disposed with the diapers? Years ago, Mary, age 49, shyly told her family doctor that she had lost interest in having sex with her husband. She was told this was a natural event, that women eventually lose interest and that's the way it is. For some women, she was told, it comes earlier. Today, Mary might be offered testosterone patches to fire up her lagging libido!

Martin, age 59, is having erectile difficulties. Viagra to the rescue!

Times may have changed, but is it really just a story of diminishing hormones and loss of blood flow? The popularity of these new biologically-based treatments attest to their effectiveness as sexual aids. Yet we continue to yearn for the fulfillment of a deeper intimacy. Reviving the mechanics of our sex life may help, but it does not fully address the hunger in our hearts. We desire even more than the wonderful climax of sexual release. We crave a connection with our partner's soul. We ache to embrace a love that lights up our eyes, that enlivens our very being.

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Why Don't You Speak Up For Yourself?

by: Margaret Paul, Ph.D.


My counseling clients often complain to me about interactions they had with a partner, friend, parents or co-worker. When I asked the question, "Why didn't you speak up for yourself?" here are the most common answers I receive:

"I want to keep the peace."

"I don't want to rock the boat."

"I didn't know what to say."

"It won't change anything."

"He/she won't listen."

"We will just end up fighting."

"He/she will make it my fault."

Charlie is in his early 70's, and has been married to Esther for 43 years. Charlie and Esther love each other very much, but there has always been a problem in their marriage, and Charlie finally decided to get some help with it.

The issue is that Esther often speaks to Charlie with a harsh, demeaning, parental tone - telling him what to do. All these years, Charlie's way of dealing with this has been to comply - to be the 'nice' guy and try to 'keep the peace.' But every once in a while he suddenly blows up, scaring and hurting Esther. She has asked him over and over to tell her what's upsetting him so much, but when he has, she doesn't listen and turns it back onto him. In his mind, he has been in a no-win situation. The last blow-up led Charlie to seek my help.

The problem is that Charlie had never said anything to Esther in the moment about her tone. When he did say something, after the fact, Esther would have no idea what he was talking about, so she would explain, defend, and turn it back on him.

"I don't know what to say," said Charlie.

"Charlie, how do you feel inside when Esther speaks to you with a harsh, demeaning tone?"

"I feel small, diminished, like I did when my father would criticize me. I feel like a helpless little kid. I hate it. It hurts me."

"And when you suddenly blow up, what do you say?"

"I tell her to shut up."

"Are you telling her to shut up about what she is saying?"

"Yes."

"So you don't say anything about her tone of voice or how you feel?"

"No, I don't think I have ever said anything about her tone of voice."

"Charlie, if you were to say something in the moment, not about what she is saying, but about how she is saying it, what would you say?"

"I'd say, 'Your tone of voice is harsh and diminishing and it hurts me.'"

"Great! Would you be willing to say this the next time Esther is harsh with you?"

"Yes!"

The next week, Charlie reported that he and Esther had a great week together. He had quietly responded the way we had rehearsed and he was shocked at how Esther responded. Instead of getting angry, defensive, explaining or attacking, she said, "You're right. I'm sorry. Thank you for telling me."

All this time Charlie was certain that if he spoke up for himself, things would get worse. Instead, he discovered that Esther was very open to hearing his feelings and experience when it was in the moment, and was thrilled that he finally spoke up for himself.

Telling others what they are doing wrong, or trying to get them to stop doing what they are doing will generally lead to a difficult interaction. But speaking up for yourself with the intent of taking loving care of yourself will make you feel much better, even if the other person doesn�t hear you. At least you are hearing yourself, and this is what is important. And you might be surprised at how the other responds!

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Communication in a Relationship

by: Michael Brady


Communication is a vital part of our lives: a typical day involves many interactions between ourselves, our work colleagues and clients, our children, our friends, our ex's, future relationships, etc. This interaction takes place where we live, work, relax, socialize and wherever we perform routine tasks.

Communication skills are critical for building healthy relationships, especially when one realizes that one of the most common causes of relational breakdown is a lack of communication. Just as communication can be the most important part of a relationship; arguments can be the most destructive aspect - the closer we are to someone, the more easily we can bruise or be bruised. There is very little truth in the saying: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never harm me." It's not what we say, but rather how we say it, that most often hurts another person.

Do you identify with any of these statements?

"He never listens to me when I talk!"

"She talks and talks, but never actually says anything!"

"It's like talking to a brick wall"

"I can't get through to you"

"We can't talk about anything important without getting into a fight"

"She's too emotional - she's either crying or shouting or complaining. It's easier to avoid her"

"He always gets defensive when I try to talk about issues"

Communication is a complex process; of which speaking only makes up for 10-20%. The other 80-90% is made up by facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, etc.

Communication is the art/ science of transferring a thought/ idea/ information from the mind of one complex human being to the mind of one or more complex human being(s). For communication to be effective, it must be a two-way process.

Dynamics of Interpersonal Communication

1. Facts: are both people communicating about the same set of facts? Try to separate the facts from thoughts or feelings.

2. Interpretations, Thoughts or Perceptions: Each person interprets a fact differently based on their belief system, personality, values and experience.

3. Feelings: how we are feeling, our current mood and frame of mind, etc can sub-consciously affect decisions and thoughts.

4. Intentions, Needs or Wants: hidden agendas; are we looking for comfort, clarification, information or simply a chance to interact? We judge ourselves on our intentions.

5. Actions: choice of words (is the intent to create harm?) + tone of voice + non-verbal speech = body language, posture, eye contact, facial expressions, etc.

"The medium is the message" => the way the message is delivered is the message itself.

6. Self: The communication centre, which includes the issue, topic or conflict at hand, has been "filtered" by the facts, interpretations, thoughts, feelings, intentions, and choices of behaviour / actions.

Listening and Feedback

Did I say what I meant to say? - Invite feedback to clarify communication.

Someone who's not listening lets their mind drift and is already preparing the next argument or opposing thought; inaccurate feedback or limited eye contact.

Listening is an active, not a passive process. When two people argue, they only hear "what they want to hear", not what's actually said. This equates to the accusation of "not listening". Most couples start arguing and within 5 minutes are arguing about the way they are arguing.

Don't argue when you're angry - you will not be able to listen objectively. Give yourself time to cool down and then broach the subject when you are in a more reasonable frame of mind.

It's important to give feedback - checking and confirming. Did I understand you correctly? Is this what you mean? I heard you say this: am I right? Feedback can be verbal / non-verbal e.g. a nod, smile, silence or a cold shoulder. No feedback is in itself a form of feedback.

If the words and actions contradict each other, it is better to believe the actions!

Conflict Resolution

Conflict resolution can either be Constructive or Destructive.

Destructive Style - hinders or inhibits the conflict resolution process:

Confrontational (win or lose, blaming)

Sabotage (focus on weak points, shaming)

Manipulation (blackmail, withdrawal)

Giving in (passive, submissive)

Avoidance (denial, withdrawal)

Constructive Style � trying to minimize the issues and avoiding the difficulties in resolving the problems:

Compromise (meet halfway, understanding)

Accommodate (open discussion, communication without confrontation)

Partnership (solutions, forgiveness, honesty)

When trying to resolve conflicts, try to clarify your goals, as you will probably share many of the same goals despite of your differences. Avoid bargaining, as this may lead to each party taking a rigid position which in turn can flare tempers.

When resolving conflicts, remember that their causes may run deep. Sweeping issues under the carpet isn�t going to work in the long term, as old baggage will be brought up each time an argument starts. Try to fully resolve each issue as it comes along. You may find the following method useful:

1. Ask the other person for their feelings. Your conflict probably isn�t about the issue that caused it to start in the first place. Don�t forget that your goal is sorting out the problem, not winning an argument!

2. Ask the other person to define the problem. Stick to solving one problem at a time, that way you can understand each problem as the other person sees it.

3. Express your own feelings. Be careful to word them carefully, for example use phrases such as �I feel�� rather than �I think you��

4. Define the problem as you see it. As your feelings come out, the solution may become clearer. Remember that by you listening to the other person; you will have set the tone for them to listen to you.

5. Create multiple solutions. Don�t go back to your original agenda. Aim to find alternative or creative solutions that reduce emotions and tension.

6. Rate the possible solutions. Remember that no one can force an unacceptable solution on the other.

7. Combine and create a mutually acceptable solution. Create something acceptable to both parties, if this doesn�t work � go back to step 1 and ensure both parties are being totally honest.

8. Be sure both parties agree to work towards resolving the issue.

Troubleshooting For Problems in Communication

Control or Power Issues: Effective communication cannot take place if one person has "control" over the other or where there is not mutual respect and equality of relationship. To stay in control leads to relational isolation as the underdog reacts in anger at being manipulated or belittled.

Triangulation: Do not bring in a third party to avoid direct confrontation. If you have a problem with someone, go directly to that person. Don't dump your accusations on mutual friends or your children in the hope of winning support to balance the scales in your favour - it leads to more substantial and long-lasting damage, especially when a child is used as a weapon between parents.

19 Steps to Effective Communication

1. See communication as an opportunity to praise, build-up, affirm, heal, support and give positive reinforcement, rather than to correct, criticise, tear down, hurt, wound, lash out at. Praise opens doors to further communication, while criticism shuts them down.

2. Remember that actions speak louder than words; non-verbal communication usually is more powerful than verbal communication. Avoid double messages in which the verbal and the non-verbal messages convey something contradictory. (Credibility gap)

3. Define what is important and stress it; define what is unimportant and de-emphasise or ignore it. Avoid fault-finding.

4. Communicate in ways that show respect for the other person�s worth as a human being. �Avoid statements which begin with the words �You never �� or �I think you ��.

5. Be clear and specific in your communication. Avoid vagueness.

6. Be realistic and reasonable in your statements. Avoid exaggeration and sentences which begin with �You always ��

7. Test all your assumptions verbally by asking if they are accurate. Avoid acting until this is done.

8. Recognize that each event can be seen from different points of view. Avoid assuming that other people see things like you do. (Perception)

9. Recognize that your family members and close friends are experts on you and your behaviour. Avoid the tendency to deny their observations about you � especially if you are not sure.

10. Recognize that disagreement can be a meaningful form of communication. Avoid destructive arguments.

11. Be honest and open about your feelings and viewpoints. Bring up all significant problems even if you are afraid that doing so will disturb another person. Speak the truth in love. Avoid sullen silences.

12. Do not put down and/or manipulate the other person with tactics such as ridicule, interrupting, name-calling, changing the subject, blaming, bugging, sarcasm, criticism, pouting, guilt-inducing, etc. Avoid the one-upmanship game.

13. Be more concerned about how your communication affects others than about what you intended. Avoid getting bitter if you are misunderstood.

14. Accept all feelings and try to understand why others feel and act as they do. Avoid the tendency to say, �you shouldn�t feel like that.�

15. Be tactful considerate and courteous. Avoid taking advantage of the other person�s feelings.

16. Ask questions and listen carefully. Avoid preaching or lecturing.

17. Do not use excuses. Avoid falling for the excuses of others.

18. Speak kindly politely and softly. Avoid nagging yelling or whining.

19. Recognize the value of humour and seriousness. Avoid destructive teasing.

Summary

As you look ahead to new relationships, you need to be able to break old and faulty communication patterns to allow for healthier interaction. The use of praise and positive reinforcement will reconstruct wounded and broken self-images and will build self-esteem, particularly in children. By becoming an effective communicator, you will also grow and become a better person which will positively enhance all your relationships.

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What Everybody Ought to Know About a Wedding Registry

by: Gale Harris


A crucial part of planning a wedding is also planning for and creating a wedding registry. This is best done as early as possible. The bridal registry is extremely important if you want to avoid duplicate gifts. Starting a registry early lets your guests have enough time to choose what items they would like to give you. You may not have a comprehensive wedding registry ready early on, but make it large enough for your guests to have enough options to browse and choose.

You also need to plan what kind of registry you want and what kinds of items and products need to be a part of it. The ideal wedding registry for a young couple is one that lists household items. Such a registry is perfect for a couple starting a new life together. Let�s take a look at some of the wedding gifts that can be a part of the ideal wedding registry.

Kitchenware

A lot of young couples can benefit from creating a kitchenware wedding registry. Having a well-equipped kitchen means you can create and share more meals together at home, entertain at home, and cook whenever you want. Kitchenware items can range from regular silverware and glassware to appliances like mixers, food processors, toasters, and coffee machines.

Home Furnishings and Linen

Equally as useful for a couple as a kitchenware registry is a home furnishing items and home linen registry that includes products like tablecloths, bedding, and bath towels. You can include items like duvet sets, bed sheets, pillows, bed skirts, and blankets. It is also a good idea to include home furnishings and home linen products like tablecloths, towels, cloth napkins, curtains, rugs, and more.

Home Decor

A wedding registry which covers home d�cor can also be a very helpful for a young couple. You can choose from furniture, decorative items and collectibles, wall pictures, photo frames, and lamps. Home d�cor that looks good and is also functional can be of great use to a couple starting a new life together.

Create your wedding registry with care and loving attention. After all, it�s for your future and can give you a wonderful start to this exciting new phase of your life!

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How to Get a Guy to Like You - From the Very First Date

by: Lisa Redfield


There are 2 ways to understand how to get a guy to like you on your first date. The first way is to Ask Your Girlfriends, consult with your mother or aunt, or maybe read Cosmopolitan every week. The common thing about these sources - They all come from Women.

We women spend an amazing amount of time dissecting and analyzing every little aspect of relationships, men and life in general.

That, unfortunately, doesn't mean that we understand men better (than men).

The second way to know how to get a guy to want you is to Finally listen to what Men Are Saying... This may not be easy. We will hear things that we don't want to hear and we will have to accept things that may sound sexist and annoying. None the less - They will still be true!

If you ask your girlfriends or go through women's magazines, you will find that this is how to act on a first date:

1. Don't order pricy drinks or food.

2. Act like someone who will get along with his buddies

3. Don't wear anything too exposing and revealing and never use any curse words - so he knows he can introduce you to his mother.

4. Don't talk much and if possible don't talk at all - just listen.

I am sure you have heard this advice before, right?

While these tips can be good for some type of men, they are hardly the things that will affect his first impression of you (which of course is the most important one)

What's the Problem With Women-Tips for First Dates?

Most of the time, we women do not understand the purpose of a first date. We tend to focus on compatibility, attraction and how many relationship he had in his past. These are all important things, but not on a first date.

After a long research about how to get a guy to like you (and a lot on interrogation of the opposite sex), I have found these 3 simple rules to follow on your first date. They are all related to one thing: Concentrate on conveying your femininity.

Rule #1 - Wear a Dress

Men like women in dresses because dresses make you look soft, tender and it makes him want to cuddle you and protect you from the harms of the world.

Rule # 2 - Let Him Speak First

If you allow him to be the first one to speak on your first date will make him feel respected. Men like to feel respected even more than being loved. It's a fact of life and it is an ancient fact of life. It maybe annoying, but it's still true.

Rule #3 - Smile Often

Smiling at him often will simply make him feel attractive. It's so easy yet so true. Men want to feel attractive and this is an easy way to achieve that.

Follow these 3 simple rules and he will beg for a second date. Wait 2 more dates and then you can start to express yourself much more and let him know who you really are. By than he will be much more motivated to get to know you as a person.

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After Infidelity: Make up or Break up

by: Ruth Martin


Relevance Info Services, an international publisher of quality information, approached me as an expert in relationship issues with the question if I could evaluate a number of websites that offer methods and tips for saving relationships and prevent a divorce. The fact is that, with respect for all the well meant kind of information, there are many offerings on the internet that are not based upon psychological principals. A lot of the presented materials cause more harm than any good. It is not composed by experts and that�s certainly not what you want. If you are in serious trouble the situation demands a professional approach by people that are very experienced in solving relationship issues.

This article is about what to do after infidelity. More articles will follow about related subjects.

An infidelity is a betrayal, a loss of trust. It is lying or disloyalty to one�s partner or lover. Infidelity may be sexual or emotional in nature and typically involves a third person. Infidelity does not necessarily involve physical separation, but can be characterized by emotional detachment as well. Emotional detachment can happen when you lose your partner�s trust or if you lie to your partner or tell them half-truths. Betraying your partner may inflict a deep pain that is difficult to repair and sometimes causes irrevocable damage to the relationship that hastens its end. There are many things that can occur in the wake of an infidelity. If you are married, an infidelity could lead to divorce. If you are in a committed relationship, it could lead to a break up.

So what happens after infidelity occurs in your relationship?

There are distinct stages a relationship goes through in the wake of an infidelity.

1. Roller Coaster Stage. This is the stage where strong emotions arise - emotions such as anger and self-blame followed by a period of introspection and appreciation of the relationship. Just like it says, your emotions go for a roller coaster ride, up and down, round and round and it�s a bit hard to figure out exactly where you are.

2. Moratorium Stage. This stage is a less emotional stage, at least for the person who was cheated upon. In this stage, the person affected tries to make sense of the betrayal. They may ask for more detail about the affair or retreat into themselves or quietly seek help from others regarding the issue.

3. Trust Building Stage. This stage takes place when the couple has decided to stay together. During this stage, the couple really tries to make their marriage work. They decide that a continued commitment to their relationship is important and with time, eventually forgiveness and trust can be achieved.

After an infidelity occurs, you may still find yourself often doubting your partner. Don�t lose heart, there is hope. Here are some signs that may indicate if a person is still worthy of your love.

� Expresses sincere remorse and regret for cheating on you

� Heartfelt apologies feel true when you hear them

� Accepts total blame for his or her betrayal

� Cuts off all contact with the third party

� Shows a renewed appreciation, admiration, respect and devotion to only you

� Displays a willingness and openness to talk about what happened

� Is willing and eager to go into marriage counseling with you

If both of you are willing to participate in a deep, open, and honest conversation regarding your relationship and how you would like it to progress, there is a good chance you will be able to work through your issues.

If, on the other hand, your partner is not open to discussing these things with you and not demonstrating any of the possible reconcilement signs listed above, it may be time to cut your losses and get out. Additional signs that it might be time to end the relationship are: your partner seems to be more agitated than usual and seems to emotionally and physically withdraw from you. They may go out alone more often and may be making clandestine phone calls or working late hours. You might even receive anonymous phone calls at the house. If several of these things are occurring, then most probably your partner is cheating on you. If you can find concrete evidence of this infidelity, then it�s probably a good idea to break up. A relationship that is based on lies, lacks trust and lack of commitment is doomed to fail.

After an infidelity occurs, be aware of any signs that may indicate your partner�s willingness to stay and work it out or clear intention to follow along the path of continued betrayal. Just be careful and pay attention. Make the best decision for you.

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I Broke Up With My Boyfriend and I Miss Him - Can I Get Him Back?

by: Benjamin Hedley


I left my sweetheart, it was my choice. However after that I realized it had been a terrible mistake and that I would like him back again.

What to do if that were your circumstances? To begin with you don't need to blame yourself and say" I split up with my sweetheart and I miss him". All that you should do is to create a reasonable strategy and try taking some action.

The very first thing you need to do would be to determine whether or not you want him back again or not. That means you'd like to learn the reason why you left him in the first place.

Knowing the reason why you left him and you feel that you simply overreacted by dumping him, you may have an urge to get him back again. It's your choice and you've got to consider it. Keep reading if you would like the man you're dating back again.

-- Tell him you want him back again, give him a green signal. I hear you requesting how I can give him indicators. The reply is: tell him you think about him daily, send him a text, an e-mail, leave a message upon their voice mail, call him up and ask about his family members. The only real disclaimer here's: don't go crazy or he'll believe that you're stalking him.

-- If you get a few positive indicators from him, simply tell him the reason why you have split up with him. Be truthful and straightforward. Simply tell him if it had been something personal or something like he messed up and let him consider it.

-- At that point, he'll get two messages; the first is you still worry about him and you are wiling to get back together with him. The second message is you still have trust when you are sincere and open up with him and you're simply ready to do anything to reunite with him. This makes the picture ready for your next stage.

-- Ask to meet him. Whenever he concurs make certain you look stunning. Males are much more inclined to looks than to almost anything else. Whenever he sees exactly how stunning you are, he'll have more good reasons to respond.

-- Don't rush issues; give him time so he can decide. This will depend on how long it's been since you split up with him. However, you have to put a timeline to this procedure, question lightly if he really wants to get back together with you. If he appears hesitant question and allow him to speak with you regarding his worries. In the event that he doesn't wish to speak, leave him and prepare to move on.

Keep in mind that you don't need to change who you are to allow him to get back together with you. Behave normally and be good. Keep in mind the reason why he had fallen deeply in love with you in the first place and then try to return to those old sweet times.

Lead him to realize that you want to reunite with him, and be sincere with him. This should help you if you miss your boyfriend and you need to make up with him.

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Ways to Get Your Girlfriend Back - Letting Her Go to Get Her Back again

by: Son Hutchinson


It does not necessarily mean that you are giving up on the romantic relationship, nor does it signify that you no lengthier care about your girlfriend. Somewhat, letting her go signifies giving her the time and space away from you that permits her to miss you and know what she had. It's human nature to want elements only when we don't have them any more. When you efficiently offer with your private emotions, accept the breakup, and let her go, you shift the energy dynamic back in your favor.

When you allow your girlfriend go just after a breakup, you deliver all the proper messages. It shows that you are strong, independent, and assured which are all attractive traits. It reveals your girlfriend that though you really want her in your existence, you don't need to have her in your everyday life to be pleased. It says to her, you may possibly not want to be aspect of my existence appropriate now, but if you're not then you're going to be lacking out on something wonderful because I refuse to sit about begging, pleading, apologizing, and being depressed. Lifestyle is too brief for all that. I'm going to be ok no make a difference what.

Do you see why this is so strong? Until eventually you're gone, she can't miss you. Even if you're not seeing her, just sending texts or calling her nevertheless suggests you're around and she can't miss you. Soon after a breakup, you really should do your greatest to stay away from all speak to for at minimum a few of weeks. If she calls missing you, don't just drop every thing and rush more than to see her. Otherwise you give all the energy back to her and chances are the subsequent day she'll sense like she made a mistake.

When she feels you're shifting on with your existence and she may lose you for very good, then she'll begin earning the energy to get you back instead. If she doesn't, then odds are she actually is really above you and has made a decision you're not the correct man for her. If this is the case, then you must accept it, but by letting her go in the very first put, you have presently ready all by yourself for the worst.

Letting her go is really tricky. It's agonizing and you will sense like you're tearing your personal heart out. But some unlucky souls entirely fall short and get dumped. What do they do now to get them to appear back again?

What to say to a woman to get her back is often an unanswered query. But we will go over some issues you can say to get her to arrive operating back again. Points can be restored to their former state with some persistence and good preparation and the ideal points to say. Make her think exceptional and allow her in on how substantially you treatment for her. Say the appropriate items, and she will have no selection but to come back again.

Here are some methods to go about it.

one. Initial items initial, do not stalk her! Most of the time guys can get desperate and continue to keep calling her, often even behaving fairly rudely.

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Relationship Help: Why Do I Get So Upset with My Partner?

by: Dr. Rich Nicastro


Q: I need some relationship help. While I love my husband with all my heart, sometimes it's just so frustrating being married to him. When I feel that he's ignoring me, I get so upset, and he's usually surprised by the intensity of my reaction. Why do I get so upset with him? ~Lynn, Carlsbad CA

A: Thanks for the question, Lynn. Here are some thoughts that might help shed light on your experience:

It is extremely distressing to feel as if your words and actions have no impact (or no longer matter) to your spouse/partner�to think that someone whom you love deeply is no longer engaged fully in the relationship or interested in what's important to you can be extremely painful.

When you feel like your spouse/partner is not being responsive to you (and to your needs), two outcomes become likely:

1. Initially, you may "up the ante" in order to have some kind of impact on your spouse/partner-- this might involve yelling, becoming more provocative, elevating your emotional responses, acting in ways that are uncharacteristic for you (in attachment literature these types of reactions are called "protest" behaviors�your protests are a reflection of losing something extremely important to you; this can be the love of your partner, the security of your relationship, or both).

Is it fair to say that at some point most of us would react negatively (protest) if we perceived our spouse/partner to be unavailable and unresponsive to our needs?

2. When you feel ignored for extended periods of time, your sense of despair can turn into feelings of hopelessness�you give up on trying to engage your spouse/partner and begin to retreat (this is a self-protective behavior�in essence, you're cutting your loses). This may take the form of indifference, withdrawal behaviors, and disengaging from the relationship in general (and the responsibilities that are a part of the relationship).

Typically a protest reaction isn't random: Protest behaviors (getting really upset when your partner isn't responding in predictable ways that make you feel secure in the relationship) occur in a particular context; and the triggering event is usually feeling anxious about losing the security of your relationship.

Relationship Help: Let's break down this reaction:

An unresponsive/disengaged/uninterested partner =>

triggers increased anxiety and worry in the other partner, who then =>

attempts to reengage the unresponsive partner (for example, "We need to talk," or "What's wrong?") =>

and if the other partner is still not responsive, protest behaviors are triggered.

Your protest behaviors (whether your protest behaviors are perceived as nagging, pestering, yelling, or some kind of increased emotionality like anger) are in effect attempts to try and correct the problem�ideally it's an attention-grabbing reaction that will let your spouse know that something is wrong that needs fixing.

Think of protest behaviors as an alarm sounding in an effort to grab your partner's attention to what needs to be addressed.

Marital/relationship problems can arise when these temporary reactions (feeling one's spouse/partner is unconcerned and unresponsive) are not addressed and become ingrained patterns.

I hope this sheds some light on why you seem to get so upset with your spouse (or why we all get upset with our spouse/partner at times). Whenever we allow a loved one special access to our hearts, feeling ignored by this person is going to feel like a major deal.

Click Relationship Help to sign up for Dr. Nicastro's free Relationship and Marriage Advice tips & read his latest blog posts.

And don't forget to check out the special Marriage Enrichment Bonus Offer.

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Indian Matrimonial Website - Matching is easier now

by: Vivaaha bandhan


Marriage is the medium to met two souls who make a pact with each other and live for each other, always ready to take sorrow, illness, pain, loss of each other or live with each other regardless of the condition may be. India's more traditional wedding ceremony, Indian marriage is given high priority and it is the feelings and emotions. No marriage is organized and implemented as an Indian marriage around the world. Indian wedding systems vary from one place to another in accordance with their culture. Indian marriages are based on belief, religion, and horoscope must all be considered.

Indian Matrimonial websites are a popular concept around the world until years ago. But times have changed; a lot of free Indian Matrimonial website have also been developed in India, and indeed take the path of Indian thought. Indian Matrimonial website a lot, but it all depends on the user that the matrimonial website would be so many websites out there on the web that are not really free or carry a potential risk factor. In general, Indian Matrimonial website are great advisor and matchmaker and chosen by many simply because the websites that offer the best platform for sharing of emotions and thoughts. If you fall in love or not, most Indian matrimony service is a convergence of people like minded. And there goes the marriage customs, futuristic and traditional at the same time!

Match making in Indian marriage is done by parents, parents must notify the family and friends that your child is ready to get married and find various parties through them. They go through and researching family history on individuals in their environment, where education and the workplace. A lot of thought and a long procedure are taken before deciding to take a mate for their son/daughter. In Indian weddings are looking for people with complementary horoscopes.

Parents just do not see the individual members, but some, including family, believing that exposure to a family who can understand their children. Therefore, great care taken by parents when they select life partner for their son/daughter, who never believed that someone who does not do this part. By this we understand the importance of a marriage in India.

All things seems to be change at this time have enough time to spend when they coincide. Young people have evolved and to make their own decisions on their soul mates. Best of all this is that parents accept the changes. Many consultants recommend the reliable matrimonial website builder free in marriage in India. Indian matrimonial website that matches more easily than you can go through the profiles that are different from just sitting in one place. All you need do is enter a few matrimonial websites, some of which require payment in the least free. Just fill your details such as name, age, family background, etc. This allows the browser to go through your profile and complete information before you approach. Information provided by Indian matrimonial website is really adequate and reliable, providing complete security of your information.

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Emerald Cut Diamond Engagement Rings

by: Sam Smith


Diamonds became popular as ornaments in jewelry in the 1400's and the different techniques and styles of diamond cuts such as the Emerald Cut Diamond were gradually developed over many years.

An emerald is definitely one of the most attractive and most popular gemstones all over the world. Colored in bright shiny green color which is so unique that it is simply known as the emerald green, this stone is also one of the most expensive gemstones found in the world today.

The tradition of wearing engagement rings, including those with an Emerald cut diamond, symbolizes the promise of a future together which is sealed with the giving and accepting of a ring.

One of the first things to remember is that, emerald engagement rings and emerald cut diamond engagement rings are completely different things.

An emerald engagement ring is the one made using emerald as the center stone. Whereas, emerald cut engagement rings are diamond rings where the diamond is cut in a square shape (which is a popular shape of emerald).

An emerald cut diamond is distinguished by its rectangular shape and steeped facets. The edges of this cut look like stairs. This cut was originally designed for colored stones, however, its sophisticated look quickly became popular and was brought into the diamond world.

The facets on an Emerald Cut Diamonds are cut in steps, parallel to the edges which could be described as a pyramid with its top chopped off. These diamonds are bright, clear and shiny in appearance as its facets usually cover the length or width of the stone. The style is highly effective, especially in colored stones.

The emerald cut diamond reflects less light than the standard brilliant cuts and needs to be of the highest quality as any inclusions can be visible. An emerald cut diamond engagement rings with the same carat body and also grading as a round brilliant will cost about one thousand dollars less.

Emerald cuts look especially wonderful on long, tapered fingers. If your girl has long slender fingers this cut will enhance the length of her fingers, but if her fingers are shorter then this cut may seem a little disproportionate to her fingers.

It never goes out of style, and also it will fit the young and also the old.

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Can Attracting Women Be Learned?

by: Ren Rejante


I think a fundamental question faced by men in the pursuit of attracting women is: Can attracting women be learned? Is it a result of genetics � of having been gifted with prominent cheekbones, lean muscularity or a sizable organ? Or perhaps having a prominent checkbook and the right surname? Is it about having a naturally outgoing personality, charisma, and sharp wit? Or perhaps possession of influence and personal power?

As complex as women are, there is no one answer to explain their preferences. As individuals, they, like we, are different � with different genetics, different experiences, and therefore, different tastes. And it�s been said � there�s no accounting for taste. So, it may be true that to some women, height and good looks matter a lot. Some schools of thought say that women value financial security more. Others say that personality, masculinity, sense of humor, or any of a variety of different criteria matters most.

And so, the questions must of necessity be: Is it possible to attract women, and if so, can any man do it? And will it work with ANY woman specifically? The answer is yes, and no.

Yes, in the sense that it is possible to attract the kind of women that you like, and who would like you in return, but whom you need to actively attract to you. This requires you to learn the techniques for attracting women, and actively engaging in the pursuit. Sitting at home simply won�t do; you have to go out and approach them. Attracting women involves the application of learned skills in a consistent and persistent fashion. Just like any skill, it�s all about practice and playing the probabilities. You simply have to keep approaching women.

When you play the numbers, however, remember that your chances of winning can be enhanced by other things besides the application of the techniques. Some of your strengths can be emphasized, and your weaknesses downplayed. For example, age differential, or shortness, or obesity may hinder you to some extent, but should not stop you. Instead, play to your strengths, and remember that women�s preferences are not all the same. If you persist, you WILL succeed in attracting women.

However, it is not possible to attract all women, or just any specific one. If there were a specific woman that you wanted to attract, but who is simply not interested or attracted to you, no skill or technique or persistence is guaranteed to work. History is replete with stories of unrequited love � of men who thought that they can make a woman want them. If they had simply tried to attract other women instead, and kept persisting, they would have been met with success.

So, in sum, yes, attracting women can be learned. Will it always work? No. But if it allows you to attract the women you want, and who want you in return, isn�t it worth it to try?

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